Walk In Your Own Shoes
Walk in Your Own Shoes
February 2023
I am someone who LOVES stuff: cute shoes, purses, coats, hats, earrings, scarves, blouses, jeans -- pretty much whatever is made to be cute I LOVE. And, I like to look nice. But it doesn’t just stop there. I am always in awe of others who are very well put together.
I have recently entered a new profession in which I truly want to look nice and be professional. As such, in this new season of my life, I have been “feeling” like I am in need of new clothing. Now the Lord knows that I already have hundreds of nice things, but they are things that are older; garments worn in prior years, in prior lives. In my quiet time, I prayed and asked the Lord to bring me into a season of new. New me – new things. But then, like the “old” me, I decided that I could just go buy new things. In fact, because my husband and I even previously agreed to a budget, I knew I had that available to spend. And, I reminded myself that I am a budgeter…have been trained to BE one. I have lived on that clothing allowance for years. I’ll even let you in on a secret: I always spend my full clothing budget (plus usually some of my husband’s too!). Anyway, my point is that I was asking Jesus for some new, nice clothes in this new season. However, I did not want to have to pay for them.
I felt like God was asking me to then trust Him for them. And, not only to trust Him for them, but to also not go make it happen on my own. If that meant it was His will for me not to have new clothes to be a “professional” then I needed to trust Him with that, too. (so hard!)
Humbled, I prayed this prayer and felt like I could really abstain from purchasing things. For the first time in my adult life, I really wanted to lay that down and trust God. I wanted to trust Him for the fact that if it meant I would not at all have nice, new professional clothes then so be it. I wanted to believe that I have enough, that I don’t “lack”. I was determined to break out of this cyclic loop that I need something new or more to look a certain way, etc. To impress people or to make that my identity.
In Ephesians 6, Paul tells us to stand firm with our feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. I decided then that I did not want “stuff” to define me any longer -- be it my appearance, my job, my house, my car, etc. In this new season, I want to know that I am enough, and God in me is enough. I want to lay down all of my old insecurities or performance or appearance and simply be me. I want God in me to be good enough. I hope that makes sense.
Shortly after I prayed this prayer, I was faced with my first test. I was at a Bible Study, and this beautiful woman, (who is totally professional and dressed “to the nines”) had on the most classy, LEOPARD boots. I must say, I am quite a sucker for leopard. In fact, I think leopard pretty much goes with everything. Other animal prints come and go, but leopard print remains unmatched.
With that in mind, I told her, “I really love your shoes, they are sooooo cute!”
She then replied, “Do you want them? I bought them, and my feet must have been swollen that day because they are too big for me. What size are you?”
“A seven,” I replied.
“Well, these are a size 6.5, do you want to try them on? I really need a smaller size.”
To which I suddenly blurt out: “YES!”
So, I try them on and they fit (not 100%, but close enough.)
She then asks, “Do you want them? How much would you give me for them?”
Here comes the test. Without any hesitation at all, I immediately tell her “$50!” I rationalize this response instantly in my head because I knew it was a great price for super cute shoes that I KNOW came from a high-end store.
“Deal!” she says.
We worked out the details and everything in between, and we all left happy. Although doubt infiltrated my mind, I told myself that even if they were not exactly my size, I could certainly suffer a little for fashion. And, I mean really, they did fit “okay.”
But is God really one to settle for just “okay?” In that moment, I was quickly reminded in my spirit from the Lord “I thought you prayed for something else?”
I then go back and forth in my mind with the following thoughts:
“Well, maybe this is God letting me have these shoes at an extreme discount?”
“Maybe He is making a way for me to have the really nice clothes and shoes inside of the budget that I can actually afford?”
“Maybe this beautiful woman even has other clothes I can buy from her at a discount?!”
But then God again prompts me gently, “I thought you prayed for something else.”
Ouch. I can’t ignore the voice I know to be His. I realized then that I had not been obedient to what I know He and I had discussed and what I had previously prayed for. In all of my infinite “human flesh,” I was doing a couple of things. I was not trusting God. I was not being obedient. And, I was manipulating the situation to have a plan “B” in case what I prayed for did not line up with God’s will for my life. YIKES. What truth can hit you when you are willing to hear correctly.
The next day I texted the beautiful woman and told her that I could not purchase the shoes. Not because they were not something I loved, not because it was not a good deal, not because I did not have the money. Nope. None of that. Simply because I did not want to make an idol to a material thing, nor choose to trust in my own way of getting things I really want. Making something “fit” in my plan even if it was not exactly what I had really prayed for. I put my tail between my legs and simply told the truth. I could not have the shoes because it was something that God and I were working on in my life. I felt a huge peace come over me.
In going over this with the Lord in prayer and reflection, I realized that He was telling me…
“Meagan, this is a new journey you are on. And, I do not want you to walk in someone else’s shoes. I don’t want you to compromise. I want you to walk in your shoes, in who you are, trusting me to lead you and give you the things you need AND want. And, trusting me if those things never come to pass that you do not need them to be who I fully called you to be in this season. My darling, YOU are enough.”
Psalm 23….The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…
Today if you are struggling in this same way with something, I encourage you to trust God. As our good shepherd He leads us out of all lack. And to be candid, the shoes were never the issue. Trust was. Obedience was. Identity was. I certainly don’t want to walk in any shoes but the ones the Lord calls me to walk in…because they will simply be enough if He is enough and you know what? He IS enough.
I pray the blessing and favor of the Lord God almighty on you, your journey, and the shoes you are wearing on the path you are on.
Joyfully-Meagan Brown
